Fears

I know I said I would try to bring sunshine and laughter to this blog but I need to write some thoughts down. My daughter Isabella is the same age today that my son Jace was when he passed away. I can't explain how strange and scary this time is. I feel myself holding my breath, just praying and hoping we'll see the 4 month mark...and that we'll continue to see her grow. I hate feeling this way but I can't help it, it truly frightens me. Having Isabella was a huge step for Jeff and I. It took a long time to finally have the courage to have another baby. Even when we found out we were pregnant, we had mixed emotions. I adore my children, there's nothing greater, no accomplishment bigger than my children. I just want to watch them grow and learn. Jace was such a special little boy. He was a happy baby, a big boy and I miss him every day of my life. A day has not gone by that he hasn't been on my mind. I like to think we have our own personal guardian angel watching over us. I know I drive Jeff crazy worrying over Isabella, I really do...over every little thing. I just can't help it. I hope that one day in the future I will be able to relax a little. I promise I will try.

My First Blog

So I finally did it. I started a blog, a journal of my daily adventures. Something to capture all the funny, sad and serious moments in my life with my husband and two beautiful children. Have been wanting to do this for some time but just couldn't come up with a name. A name...that's what was holding me back. My good friend Tricia told me to just go with something because I ccould always change it later. So I finally did it...welcome to Mornin' Sunshine. The name stems from the way I welcome my family & friends when I talk to them on the phone, see them in the morning or even in emails. I've said it for I don't know how long so I decided to go with that. While I'm here I'm going to make a confession. This is my 5th journal. Yes I said 5. I have 3 handwritten journals, one online and this would be my 5th. The other online journal I no longer write in. The first 2 handwritten journals don't get touched anymore and the 3rd still gets some attention but I'm beginning to think this will soon take its place as well. Guess we'll find out. So come on in, stay a while or long enough to see what the heck I'm writing about but be sure to kick your shoes off, grab a cold beverage and relax...