Parenting

I don't handle punishing my children well at all. I never have. Any time I have had to, I cry when I'm done. Tonight is no exception. I've grounded my son from everything and taken away everything. His world has just been turned upside down by his momma and daddy and he is one very unhappy boy right now. As bad as he is feeling, I think I'm hurting more. I love this kid so much and want him to succeed but his attitude towards school lately just completely sucks. His grades are reflecting that so we did what we thought would impact him the most because nothing else has gotten through to him. How else do you make a 15 year old kid understand how important his education is? I seriously dread the next 4.5 years of school with him. I hate this. I truly hate this. He is a good kid but he just has to change his attitude because what he has going on right now isn't working.  I hate being the bad guy. I don't handle it well. But I know what I'm doing is the right thing and the best thing.  I think about how strict my parents were with us growing up, and I know I need to be stronger,  harder....and not such a softy.  I've gone in his room to check on him since the punishment was handed down and we finished the phone call with his dad. He is in bed already. He has stopped crying. My heart is broken. I hurt for him, but he has done this to himself. No one to blame but himself. I think it's hitting him now.  Somebody please tell me that I'm doing the right thing, that this sting of being the bad guy will go away or become easier for me to handle because damn people, I still have a lot of years left doing this parenting thing!  I think the absolute hardest part for me right now is that I want to go snuggle up with him, put my arms around him, hold him tight...and remind him that I really do love him. But I won't. I will be strong. I will stand my ground. I will be a mom.

This is the part about parenting I really don't like.

The Good Stuff & The Funny Stuff

Between Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter I come across some really good stuff and some really funny stuff.  I love the stuff that makes me laugh out loud...and then continuous giggling cuz it just cracks me up.  That's the best.  Now understand that sometimes its just really stupid stuff that tickles me the right way and it may not tickle you....but I'm sharing it with you anyway.  Ha! 

First up...the good stuff. 

The most beautiful people....

 

 

Have Mercy!  Think Strait...Every.Single.Day...

 

 

 

Next up...truths and the funny stuff

 

Cheers my friends...

Happens more often than I care to admit....

 

 

Doesn't everyone do this?

 

 

This was a continuous giggle because this is SO ME!  My kids will also tell you that I snarl or growl at them when I mean business...its me making sure I'm getting my point across....

 

Love me some Michael Jackson Thriller....

 

 

Ok seriously ladies...how many of you let the shaving go in the winter for long periods of time?  Let's be honest here.  Long britches...what's the point?  I know I have...if I can get past the pokey uncomfortable drives-me-crazy stage and let it get long enough stage.  This just really cracked me up...look at how snooty she is darling, with her curlers and lipstick....(talking in my snooty falooty voice dahling)...

 

 

 

Damn those ducks!

 

 

 

Sadly, this happens more often than I care to admit....

 

 

 

Now, let me just say this...I'm that girl that never ever tried anything but alcohol. Even after I got caught and realized I was cursed with the Berger "red" gene, I was very careful about drinking and not getting caught.  Add to the fact that I was scared to death of my parents and knew they had eyes EVERYWHERE and that I wanted to live for a very long time.  Having said all that, this absolutely cracked me up.  I can totally see my cousin Dina and I in this picture.  Laughing so hard we can't breathe or talk and about to pee ourselves.  I damn sure better not ever find this in any room...but Lordy, I love this kind of laughing...and it tickled me just right when I happened upon it the other day....

   

 

I hope some of these made you giggle or even laugh out loud and I hope y'all had a great hump day Wednesday, free of headaches and cramps!!  Am I sharing too much...so sorry!

 

Love ya babes!!

 

 

Spring Garden

We got the garden done this weekend!!  It was a much easier process this year since we weren't starting from scratch.  Planting a garden in the Fall helped as well, even though that one didn't really work out for us, tilling up the dirt did. 

Tony tilling up the dirt....

We added 12 bags of manure to this.  Thankful I was able to take my brother's truck to pick that up.  I was bad about taking pictures this time around, but Tony captured this one while Chris and I were raking up the rows...

 

And our finished product...well almost finished.  We will plant cucumbers in a couple weeks...

 

 

That little patch right up front is Christopher's little strawberry patch.  He wanted to try some this year.  Not sure they'll make (its a little late) but who knows.  We're going to get some chicken wire and rig it up in an effort to keep the birds out.  We'll see how he likes it.  The next row will be cucumbers.  Didn't get a trellis (yet) but I'm still going to look into it.  After that we have a row dedicated to squash and zucchini, followed by two rows of green beans, a row of tators and a row of tomatoes and jalapeno peppers.  On the other side of that is an area dedicated to my flowers.  We're trying something different.  I'm told this is the Grandma Berger method of growing flowers.  We've scattered seed all over this area...no rows, just dirt and seeds.  I did plant the sunflowers in a row on the far right side.  In the middle is zinnias, poppy, daisies and I think something else?????  Memory is failing me right now.  Still no signs but I did find a flag that said "Welcome To Our Garden".  Christopher placed it up by his strawberries.  I also did not find any purple hull peas so those did not make the cut.  Maybe next year.   

 

Now for the downside portion of this weekend.  As I was walking outside Saturday morning to open the garage up and pull the hoes and rakes out, I discovered my water heater leaking.  Yay me!  Tony checked it out when he arrived and confirmed that it was leaking.  Where he wasn't sure but I couldn't remember how old it was and he decided it'd be best for me to replace it.  Ah, the joys of being a homeowner.  After we finished the garden, we ventured to Lowes and made a selection.  Not a cheap purchase but I tell you what guys, my brother is freaking awesome in case y'all didn't know it already because he saved me $300 in installation fees by replacing this himself.  While he and Chris did this Sunday, I stayed out of the way (until they needed me) and raked bags and bags of leaves.  You know, fun stuff!  At the end of the day, we grilled steaks, had some tators and corn on the cob as a thank you to my brother and son for helping me out.  I pitched in some beer too this weekend. That cold beer tasted oh so good after working in the yard all day.

 

All I can say is THANK GOD FOR BIG BROTHERS!!  He saved me again.  :)

 

Y'all have a good one!   

Garden Planning

Brother is coming over tomorrow to start moving dirt around so we can plant our garden for the second year in a row.  Woo Hoo!!  I really do love having a garden y'all, its so fun and relaxing.  And the best thing, other than having fresh vegetables, is the kids really enjoy it too. They get excited when its finally time to picking all those yummy vegetables, even though they don't eat most of them.  Well, Bella doesn't and Christopher eats the green beans and cucumbers. 

I'm thinking of adding some things to the garden this year.  Here's how my list is looking so far...

• Cucumbers
• Squash
• Green Beans
• Tomatoes
• Purple Hull Peas
• Tators
• Jalapenos
• And of course....flowers!

I also am seriously thinking about planting a lemon or lime tree...or maybe both!  Always wanted one so why not?  What's stopping me?  I think its the mentality I had for years that I needed approval to move forward with an idea.  I don't need that now...just need to get out of that old mentality. 

Enough about mentality and my issues.  Where did that come from anyway?

Getting back to my garden.  I am also thinking I want a trellis of some sort for my cucumbers.  Found this idea on Pinterest (thanks Sherri!)...

 

This trellis is awesome but I think a flowering vine would look much better on it...

 

I am also thinking about adding little signs throughout my garden. 

 

 

"No weeds here", "Squash this way", "Cutting flowers over yonder"...you get the point. 

 

And a bottle tree...

 

 

 

Wouldn't that be gorgeous with all the colors and the sun hitting it?  I think so. 

 

Here's what my garden looks like in my head....amazing isn't it?

 

 

Some day I will have the land and the means to do this.  Dream big or don't dream at all.  Hey...I dreamed big for prince charming and he finally showed up :). 

 

Y'all have a good weekend.  I hope you get to play in dirt too!

 

Weapon of Choice

Today's funny is brought to you by the makers of wooden spoons...

Call whomever you wish but I know I am not the only momma out there who uses something else other than her hand to whip an ass when needed.  By the way, my son agrees 100% with the caption above...and he STILL runs when I pull out a wooden spoon.  You gotta love it when a little bitty ol thing like me can make my much taller/bigger teenage son run for cover when I hold up a wooden spoon.  :)

It makes me giggle.... 

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy V-Day from our house to yours!! 

 

My sweet girl loves to draw and color hearts.  She makes pictures for me almost every day and I can guarantee you that just about every picture will have a heart in it.  She loves them! 

 

In honor of this day, I thought I would share some of her work as well other pictures I've come across on Pinterest that caught my eye. 

 

Hope y'all have a great Friday!!

 

Don't they just make you smile?

 

 

 

 

 

All For You

 Mommy had a good day Saturday, and I did all for you my love.  I did have a huge meltdown Friday at work but I made it through with the help of too very sweet friends.  I busied myself the rest of the day and Saturday and that helped a lot.  I also received very sweet messages and phone calls from friends to help me through the day.  My honey came to Palacios that evening to be my date to the Sweetheart Ball in Palacios.  I absolutely love this picture of us, its my favorite so far.  I two-stepped with honey and your Uncle Bryan and danced like a fool with your Aunt Keri and friends.  I had a fun time with them and I'm glad I went.  All for you my love.... 

 

Christopher Michael Turns 15

How is it possible that I have a 15 year old?  You were just born yesterday! 

My sweet baby boy....truly love at first sight...

You finally arrived at 4:24 in the morning.  I say finally because you took your sweet time getting here.  Mommy tried for a long 4.5 hours to get you here but you were just a pound too big for me.  They knocked me out fairly quickly after you arrived because I was in a lot of pain so I didn't even get to see you, but I heard your announcement.  We knew ahead of time you would be born with a fever.  Mommy developed one while I was laboring with you so you went straight to the NICU for what seemed like forever to a new Mommy.  I didn't get to meet you until the evening time.  Your Daddy and I had two names chosen for you but I refused to name you until I saw you.  He kept telling me you were a Christopher but I wanted to see you.  I couldn't go to the NICU because of my cesarean so your Daddy decided he was going to videotape you so I could see you and name you.  About the time he went to the NICU, you were upgraded to the general nursery, which meant you could come to my room for a few hours.  You were just the sweetest and tiniest little thing I had ever held and I fell in love with you instantly, and oh my goodness...you were a Christopher!!  I had been around babies all my life, held them, fed them, changed diapers, etc. but this was new.  You were mine, all mine.  My responsibility.  Holy crap, what was I thinking?  I found out two days later on what would be my 27th birthday. 

You were in the nursery and I was in my room settling down for the night when I hear this over the intercom in my room..."CODE BLUE, GENERAL NURSERY, COLD BLUE, GENERAL NURSERY".  Now let's keep a couple few things in mind here...

1. I'm a brand new mommy.
2. I had an emergency cesarean.
3. I'm a brand new mommy.
4. I still had my staples.
5. I'm a brand new mommy.
6. I was all alone.
7. I'm a brand new mommy.
8. I still wasn't moving around very well.
9. I'm a brand new mommy.
10. You were previously in the NICU.
11. I'm a brand new mommy.
12. I FREAKED OUT!!

Not only did I somehow jump out of my bed but I sprinted all the way to the nursery, which was on the other end of the hallway.  Tears streaming down my face and people looking at me like I was a mad woman, I was met at the nursery door by my nurse with me hollering, is that my baby?...is my son ok?...what's happening?  is Christopher ok?  Please tell me he's ok!!  Bless her heart, she couldn't understand how I knew there was something going on but she was quick to calm me down and assure me he was ok. She even had another nurse bring Christopher to me so I could see he was indeed, just fine. So were all the other babies.  As she was taking me back to my room, I told her what happened and all she could do was apologize a million times and then say, girl....you are going to be HURTING!!  Still not sure if they ever figured out how the code blue came over the intercom in my room.  Needless to say, my sweet nurse put me back in bed and gave me extra pain meds to help me sleep. :)  The point to all of this is I found out that night that God entrusted you to me as your protector and your teacher.  I knew in the moments I was running to you, I would do anything to protect you and take care of you.  I was given the gift of being a Mommy and I would embrace it.      

Look at you now....so stinkin' handsome!!

My gosh how the time has flown by and now you are 15 years old.  I am amazed more and more every day at how fast you are growing up.  You had a lot of hard life lessons very early, but I honestly believe that like your Mommy, you are a better person for it.  My goodness child, you will start driving this year and I'm not sure I'm ready for that.  I mean, I am...but I'm not.  I am scared to death of letting you go by yourself.  Thank goodness I still have some time to adjust to that thought.  I take back all the times your Pop and Grammy worried about me being on the roads.  I'M SO SORRY!!!  I really think God just sits back and laughs at all the kids when they grow up and become parents because I feel like we worry so much more than our parents did.  Ha...I already feel bad for you because you know how much I worry about everything!!  Damn...its gonna suck for you son.

You are an awesome kid.  Your heart is so kind and considerate and loving.  You make me proud every single day.  I'm proud to call you my son.

Happy 15th Birthday Monkey!  I love you to the moon and back and then some! 

The Greater Plan

Sometimes the greater plan
Is kinda hard to understand
Right now it don't make sense
I can't make it all make sense
So I'm gonna sit right here
On the edge of this pier
Watch the sunset disappear
And drink a beer

Luke Bryan's song "Drink A Beer" is killing me and comforting me today....

Watch and listen HERE. 

Hug your babies. Hug your hubby. Hug your family. Live it up today. 

Thank you all for your sweet support and kind words.  You help me more than you could possibly know. 

Love to you all....

Jace

I know each year I come here and say the same thing about you and about my struggles this time of year, but one thing never changes...I just miss you so very much son.

It is so hard to explain to others how I feel, how so easily I could just shut down while everything  around me keeps moving.  I pulled this from FB the other day...it sums it up perfectly because there are no words.  Its pain like you've never known...

I can't get my head right this time of year, ever.  I try...oh boy do I try but it never works. I'm a soggy mess for a good two weeks.  You died on a Saturday.  This year's anniversary is on a Saturday.  I am going to be a judge for the Valentine's Day Parade in Palacios Saturday.  I hesitated when I first saw the date but decided that instead of not doing a damn thing all day and allowing myself to dwell on this day, I am going to honor you instead. I know you would want me to stay busy and not think about the worst day of my life.  The day I was forced to say good-bye. The day I held you for the very last time. Even now, 11 years later, as I'm typing this, I have a huge lump in my throat as I'm trying to keep the tears from taking over.  I'm losing this battle.  You were and still are very precious to me son and I hope you know how much Mommy loves you, misses you and how much I fought like hell that day to try and heal you.  I would have done anything for you.  Just know that this year I am going to try my best to smile and have a good day.  I can't promise you tears won't fall but Mommy will do her best just for you my love. 

You are forever and always in my heart son...