A Hot Mess

I decided I needed to talk about how I have been feeling lately.  I was thinking last night that maybe I need to get away and get my head straight.  I have a beachy vacation coming up with family in a short 4 days but I'm not sure its exactly what I need for myself.  As of late, I am snappy with the kids, my patience is almost non-existent and I'm bitchy.  All the things I don't like to be.  Maybe its this horribly hot weather making me irritable...and all the friggin' mosquitoes!  I love my kids more than anything but some days I just want to lock myself in a closet and not answer to mommy or anything else for that matter.  And let me say, I do take medication and have for a long time and it helps, but I have often wondered if it needs to be increased. Most definitely something I will bring up with my doctor at my next visit if I'm still having issues. I'm either a raging lunatic or a sobbing mess. Sometimes both and Lord help us all if you get both.  I'm laughing about all this now but I know my kids don't think its funny or anyone else who comes in contact with the lunatic.  I was just apologizing to my son yesterday for being so short with him and Bella lately.  He's so sweet saying its okay.  Its not okay. I should have more patience.  I have just felt very overwhelmed these last few weeks.  I've got to find my happy place again and quit letting it slip away.  Was chatting with a friend last night and she agreed that I should try to do more things that I love and in return it will help lift my spirits. I have to try for my kids because they don't deserve a bitchy hot mess of a mom, although I do think its good for them to see the snarling, snappy, don't even think about it mom every now and again.  ;)

Thanks for listening.