All Over The Place

Note...because I didn't want to go back and re-phrase what I had written, I thought you should know  I started this post Sunday evening...:)

So many things running through my mind. I'm emotional this evening. On the verge of tears. I don't know where to begin. Talking to one of my dearest friends today about moving on and moving forward with my life. Don't let fear keep me from passing something up that could give me so much happiness. Even if it just ends up being only six months of happiness, I should take the chance.  I hate being afraid but I am. I don't want to get hurt and I don't want others to get hurt, so my guard is up. Isn't there a saying or quote about fear?  I'm sure if there is I have it pinned on Pinterest...and I've probably given some piece of advice to others at one time or another.  I'm just horrible at listening to my own advice.  If you're a regular reader of this blog, you know this about me.  Can be hard-headed and stubborn....but not ALL the time.  Ha!  Of course the quote on my side bar fits too...

"Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway"  Ok John Wayne...I hear ya! 

Giddy up!!

Continued Monday....

I went to our hometown football game Friday night...so excited.  Rain did NOT cooperate.  I had a poncho.  A $5 poncho.  It held up about $5 worth of rain, if that.  Daddy and Lena bailed when the rain first started, which was close to halftime.  Wasn't bad.  I thought "I can handle this, this is ok".  Got a little harder...I was still fine.  But then the monsoon hit.  Lordy, Lordy...poncho failed.  Before I even made it downstairs I was soaked from the knees down.  I've never had water sloshing in my tennis shoes before.  That was interesting.  I think now would be a good time to mention that I absolutely do not like wearing wet jeans.  By the time I made it back to the car, I looked like a drenched rat.  Felt totally bad because I was keeping my peeps updated on the game via Facebook.  I'm sure if I had held out long enough, the rain would have slowed and I would have been fine.  Oh well.  Got home, got changed and then cleaned up the water trail I left throughout the house between me and the poncho.  It was fun...and would do it again.  Just glad the babies weren't with me.  Chris would have been loving it.  Miss Bella...not so sure how she would have handled it.  Not sure I want to find out either.  Ha!  Our guys won the game by the way :).

A big huge announcment at work Friday left me in a daze and pretty much in shock the rest of the day.  My boss is leaving us.  She has been with the Port for 20+ years.  I have been here 15+.  I am still in shock.  The Port was already in a transitioning period when she dropped this bomb, so we are all just kind of walking around wondering what's going to happen.  For me, its not just work, its personal as well.  She has been so much more than a boss to me.  She has been a friend, like a sister at times.  She was with me at the hospital when my son took his last breath, sat on the floor in the bathroom and cried with me when I found out just how serious mom's cancer was, helped me fight and stand up for myself (and my kids) when my divorce was staring me in the face and to some degree, has helped me find myself again.  Reminding me that in order to take care of my kids, I also have to take care of me and its ok to do something for myself every now and again.  In fact, its what started my latte Fridays.  It was early in what was one of the final chapters of the Jeff and Missy story...we were separated.  I was having trouble, pity parties all the time, feeling sorry for myself, blah, blah, blah.  You get the point.  Heck, I'm sure you read about it.  We were talking one day...and she told me I needed to start doing one thing for myself each week.  Could be anything I chose...splurge on dinner somewhere that's a treat, buy a movie, pick up Chick-fil-A, a new lip gloss, something from the $1 Spot at Target...it didn't matter just as long as it was for me.  And so the tradition of caramel latte Friday's began.  I decided that would be my reward to myself on the Fridays I worked for getting through the week.  A pat on the back if you will. Sometimes I treat myself on the Fridays I'm off as well but not all the time.  So now you know the story. Its the little things.

As I was picking up at the house yesterday before Hurricane Bella made landfall again...I was putting some jewelry away, stuff I allow Bella to play with and wear. I have quite the collection. Love all my pieces. Love that I have friends and family that come to me when they are looking for something to go with an outfit. Missy will most likely have something! But like every girl, I feel you can NEVER have enough. One of my friends has been wanting me to have a jewelry party. She's been after me for almost 2 years now. She sells the Lia Sophia jewelry. I think I might finally give in to her and give it a whirl. I mean really...what's more fun than having a bunch of girls over to drink cocktails and shop jewelry? And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious to see this line of jewelry.

Did you see what the temps are supposed to be in the evening this week?  Well...for southeast Texas?  Shhh...don't say it too loud but its showing we'll drop to the high 50s at night.  Giggle, giggle...I might have to build a fire!!  My boss just pointed this out to me.  She was shocked I didn't already know.  Quite frankly I was shocked I didn't know either.  So this means the girls at work will really be on me to cook for them.  :)  We were just talking about it at lunch today.  Been a while.  Have to keep them happy or they might appoint someone else the beloved "Paulita" title.  I can't have that happening!

I will leave you with this...and yes I am reading it and taking it in :).