Dear Jace...

Happy Birthday son!  I can't believe you are 10 years old today, double digits my love.  Time has gone by so fast.  Seems like yesterday my sweet autumn baby was just arriving.  I remember the day so well.  You had a different cry from your brother, more of a whimpering, but when they brought you to me and I spoke to you, you quit.  You already knew your momma's voice and it calmed you.  As soon as they took you back to check you out, you started again.  I smiled...and cried.  I was so happy you were here, so happy to have a house full of boys.   

I know it seems repetitive to say I miss you every single day, but I do.  You are on my mind all the time son.  You never leave me.  When I look at your cousins Makenna and Brandon I see you through them...I would imagine the 3 of you as the Three Muskateers. The three of you were all born within months of each other.  You and Makenna had the pleasure of meeting and playing together.  I wish I had more pictures of the two of you together.  I can remember feeding you both while sitting in my lap in the rocking chair.  Its one of my favorite memories.  Brandon came in July...just a short 5 months after you left us.  I wish the two of you had met.  I think you would have been inseperable and probably up to no good! 

We had a little party for you yesterday.  Something your mommy has always wanted to do.  Your brother decided that if you were here your favorite meal would be your Uncle Tony's Our Favorite Steak so that's what we had.  We followed that up with cake and ice cream. I set up a table with pictures of you (wish I still had more). 

 

Mommy bought the mum because the day your were born, Marilee brought in the most beautiful autumn colored mum.  They always remind me of you.  Jana brought me the yellow flowers (she knows my love of flowers & sunflowers) and balloon, something cheerful.  Your sweet cousin Makenna gave me the bright flowers to the right (she too knows my love of flowers & burnt orange-it  was the closest she could get to it, ha!).  The Hilliers joined us as well and brought in the hugs! I loved having everyone there celebrating your special day.  I held it together the whole day, only crying once but your Aunt Jana and Aunt Deanna were right there to comfort me and hold me, just like they were the day you arrived. 

 

Your brother keeps this picture on his dresser of the two of you.  I borrowed it for the party yesterday.  He made me promise to give it back to him. Oh the love that kid has for you, sometimes I think its greater than mommy's love.  :)

 

 

Jace, I hope you know how much I miss you and how much I wish you were here. I try to understand God's plan but some days I just can't. Some days it just hurts too much. I know you are in a much better place and you are celebrating it up big time in Heaven today (and every day).

 

You are always in my heart, always on my mind and I will forever love you son.  

 

Love & Hugs sweet boy,

Mommy