Overwhelmed

I need to talk, vent, scream, cry.  I am going to apologize up front for this post.  I will ramble I'm sure, and my thoughts will definitely be all over the place, so I do apologize.

I have been so overwhelmed lately.  Actually its been for a few months now.  I can't seem to get a grip on life and feel like I am failing miserably, drowning at times.  I feel like everything is hitting at once.  Continuously.  And it won't let up.  Being an adult at this moment sucks...A LOT.  I want to just roll up in a ball in a corner and not come out until everything is semi normal again.  But in order for that to happen I have to do something about it, right?  I just don't have it in me right now.  Everything is overwhelming right now...work, being a mommy, a homeowner, money, sick, anniversaries, the ex, family, projects, car, school, makeup work, grades, influences, bills, friends, well-being, necessities, etc.  I honestly think I could keep adding to the list. Its a constant battle in my head, especially when I lay down at night, the mind starts racing and I can't shut it off.  I worry so much.  All the time.  Its constant.  Am I doing the right thing?  Am I doing the wrong thing?  Am I being selfish?  Am I too hard on my kids or not hard enough?  Everyone is a critic and everyone has their own way of doing things. I don't like being judged and I seriously dislike people who make assumptions based on what they see because let me tell you, its a whole other story behind closed doors people. Things aren't always what they seem.  I just want one thing to go right or go as planned.  I want to be happy and content.  I'm tired of worrying but I don't know how to turn it off.  I now know how my mom felt.  Being a mommy is the best blessing but whew, there are days I seriously feel like I just wasn't cut out for it.   I also know I am not the only one.  What do you do when you feel like this?  Take a time out, take a break? What if those are not options for you?  Do you lock yourself in a closet and not come out when they kids are looking/screaming/crying for you?  Because I've thought about it.  I can't handle the crying.  I give in so easily--CAN YOU SAY SUCKER?!!!!?  Somebody please tell me the secret I am missing.  The secret that allows me to let everything roll off my shoulders...all the time, not just sometimes.  the one that says "fire away!, give me your best shot! or that's all you got? I can take more!"  I honestly don't know if I can take more.  I need a lightbulb, ah ha moment that makes me understand why I can't just have it easy for a while.  I just need a break. 

Thank you for listening....