Monday, October 16, 2017

Jace Andrew


Yesterday would have been your 15th birthday my love.  I have no doubt we would have spent the day at the fairgrounds since this is Fair Week.  Your Aunt Cindy texted me yesterday morning saying that she thinks you and Brandon would have been best buds...pool sharking at the fair, doing calf scramble together, and driving the girls crazy because of how good lookin' y'all are.  I have always thought the two of you would be two peas so I agreed with her 100%.  I also think Makenna would be right there with y'all.  Yesterday was not a bad day.  I cried only a few times.  I think having the day to myself was a good thing and very much needed.  I am always thinking about how things would be if you were still here.  How this permanent hole in my heart wouldn't exist, and how differently I would perceive life.  You changed it all.  Much of it was for the better and I consider that my blessing.  I wish I could have learned these lessons in a different manner, but this is the path God sent us on.  I have often said that I didn't ask for this path and it sucks big time, but its the path I'm on and I try very hard to embrace it rather become bitter.  Happy heavenly birthday my love.  I know you had a wonderful day and that Grammy was celebrating with you.  Every second of every minute of every hour of every day, I miss you terribly Jace.  Until we meet again my son, I love you forever and always, Mommy.

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