You've Just Been Pep Talked

I have to share this video with y'all.  If you haven't already seen it, you need to watch it right now.  I have watched it so many times.  I absolutely love it.  My son showed this to me last week sometime and I have shared it with others and now you!  Its a great message of inspiration.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I have and walk around quoting lines from it.  It will make you smile.  "This is our time". 

A Pep Talk from Kid President to You

Holy Moly

Being sick stinks.  Being a mommy and being sick stinks even more and I have not been this sick in a very long time.  I can usually combat whatever is ailing me with over-the-counter medication, fluids, rest and whatnot.  But this...this took up residence in my body and wouldn't let go.  I am finally, after 9 days, starting to feel more and more like myself again.  I've missed me. 

The weather is supposed to be nice this weekend so I'm planning to get out in the yard and do some digging in the dirt.  Fire ants and sickness prevented doing much of anything last weekend, except spread fire ant killer.  Hopefully those little suckers are gone and I can get the existing flower bed cleaned up and start digging another one for some rose bushes.  I'm still not sure where I'm going to put these guys but I'll get it figured out.  I will share pictures with you once I have them in the ground.  :)  I also picked up some bulbs for lilies so I need to get those in the ground as well.  Bella will be so excited when they start coming up and blooming.  She has a love of flowers like her mommy.  I have to be careful though because she will pick anything and everything and some flowers aren't meant for picking.  Oh that girl.  One day she and I will have our flower garden full of picking flowers.  I just really wasn't thinking about our flower garden when I chose our current home with huge trees that shade the majority of our backyard (that shade is awfully nice in the summer time).

Christopher's birthday bbq went on as planned last weekend.  I was slow moving but I had lots of help from family.  My brother Tony did a fantastic job (as usual) guiding Christopher with the ribs, chicken and sausage on the smoker.   I didn't hear any complaints ;). 

I'd like to share this picture with you, its one of my favorite.  Thanks to Eric for capturing this moment.  We were all singing happy birthday to my boy and I snuck in a kiss...look at that grin on his face. :)) 

 

 

Here is the boy's birthday cake homemade by me...

 

A little history here.  When Christopher was little he always called cake "bread".  If you asked him what kind of cake he wanted, the answer was always "white bread with white icing".  So with that in mind, I decided to make him the cake he always loved as a little bitty boy.  He picked the sprinkles and I added the picture of him from his first birthday.  Awwww...such a cutie.  I also made him a platter full of chocolate chip hazelnut cookies he loves so much (Thanks for that easy recipe Laura!).  I know its not a beautiful fancy decorated cake but it was done with tons of love and to me, those are the best kinds of things, aka...the little things.

 

I hope y'all have a fun weekend planned. 

     

Happy Valentine's Day

These are the two loves of my life that make me smile every day...love them more than they could ever know.  They are my biggest accomplishments.

Just a quick update.  Bella gave me heart failure about a week ago.  Was running fever Thursday evening and Friday.  We stayed home Friday but by evening time she was good.  Saturday morning however she woke up with 104 temp and couldn't keep anything down.  Scared me something awful.  Called my dear friend Jana who came over to not only calm me down but drive us to the doctor.  My poor girl had a nasty double ear infection and a possible virus on top of that.  A good antibiotic, Motrin, fluids, sleep and mommy's love helped this girl get better.  By Sunday she was bouncing off the walls.  That same Saturday as the fever was also Christopher's 14th birthday.  Poor kid pretty much got forgotten with all that commotion going on.  Sunday morning I was feeling bad so I wrapped his bedroom door for some fun. 

 

He thought it was pretty cool and loved tearing it down.  This Saturday we're having a birthday bbq for Chris so his birthday hasn't been completely forgotten.  I just hate his actually day was full of craziness. 

 

This same Sunday, we FINALLY got the new stove in.  We all were so excited!  Its good to be baking again! 

 

 

 

Monday was my birthday.  Its good to be 41.  My sweet co-worker had these delicious treats waiting for me in my frig when I got to work...

 

 

And a short time after I got to work, her hubby surprised us with breakfast from Chick-Fil-A...what a sweet guy he is.  :))

 

 

That night we had a family dinner at La Casona to celebrate mine and Christopher's birthdays. He told me ahead of time he was NOT going to wear that silly hat.  I told him that was fine, no one would even mention it was his birthday.  His reply was "well technically its YOUR birthday, not mine".  Stinker.  Well, someone did tell our waiter it was my birthday so I got the hat and whipped cream on my face. 

 

Sometimes you just have to embrace the moment and have some fun!

 

 

 

Miss Bella wanted to try on the hat too...so stinkin' cute that girl...

 

 

 

All in all it was a good birthday.  The best part was ending the day with my family at dinner.  Nothing is better than family in my book.  Well that and maybe a frozen margarita...lol!

 

 

One other thing.  If you don't follow me on Twitter then you probably don't know that I have decided to give my filthy potty sailor mouth a rest for Lent.  I've only dropped two words since.  Gonna be a long 40 days but I'm strong.  I know I can do this.  Let's just hope no one makes me mad cuz that's when its really bad. ;)

 

And I lied...one more last thing.  I have been sick the last couple days.  If this is anything like what my Bella had, my heart just breaks for her because this stinks!  So glad she is feeling better and I'm glad I am on my way to getting past this.  Its for the birds!

 

 

Ten Years

Every now and again since this date in 2003 I would wonder how I would feel ten years down the road. Would the pain be any less?  Would I miss you any less?  Would I still remember the mini movie of that day in my head as clear as I did the day you left us?  Would the unclear fuzzy moments still be just that or would I suddenly remember what I had blocked out all these years?  Would I still remember what you looked like, how you smelled or how you liked to be held? 

The pain isn't any less...I've just learned to manage it and sometimes I don't manage very well.  I still miss you like crazy, the movie is still clear, the fuzzy moments are just that and I think at times God has kept them that way.  I still know what you looked like, in detail even, because when I knew you weren't going to make it, I began memorizing everything about you...I didn't want to forget.  I can still smell you and I still know how you liked to be held my love.  Not a day goes by that you aren't with me.  I take you everywhere I go. 

I love being around your cousins Makenna and Brandon because for me, I see you. In a small way, its like you're here. I'm not sure anyone could possibly understand that unless they have walked in my shoes. Momma and I could always talk about it. She knew. 

Has it really been ten years since we said good-bye to you?  Ten years since that awful day?  Ten years of an emptiness that can never be replaced.  Five years of folks telling us we should have another baby and after your sister arrived, four years of folks wondering why we waited so long and why there's such a huge gap between your brother and sister.  How does one answer such hard questions? 

I still get mad that you are gone.  Angry that you couldn't stay with us.  I hate the hole that's in my heart.  I would give anything to have one more day with you.  I would shut off the rest of the world and just hold you the entire day. 

I have been restless this week, not sleeping at night.  Its like my body knows what today is.  No matter how hard I try to get my mind straight, I still have a hard time in the days leading up to this day.  The day I held you for the last time, the day I didn't want to let you go, the day I selfishly begged God not to take you from me.  I still question why and I still don't understand but I am moving forward.  Not bitter and not giving up.  I see the things you have taught me in the last ten years and what you taught a whole county the day you made your trip to heaven.  It is a beautiful thing to see how you brought families closer and taught them that all that stuff that seemed so important, can wait. You remind me daily.  

Shortly after you passed away, this song came on the radio. I would cry every time I heard it because it was so true.  I still cry but its comforting.  I remember one instance in particular your Pop had gone out to the cemetary to visit you and take you some fresh flowers.  He got back in his truck, started the truck and this song was just starting to play.  Coincidence?  It got his attention enough to share it with me.  I think you send signs to us all the time, some just don't have their eyes open to them.  I still miss seeing you in my dreams but I understand too, why you aren't there anymore.

I Believe
by Diamond Rio

Every now and then, soft as breath upon my skin
I feel you come back again and it's like
You haven't been gone a moment from my side
Like the tears were never cried
Like the hands of time are holding you and me

And with all my heart I'm sure, we're closer than we ever were
I don't have to hear or see, I've got all the proof I need
There are more than angels watching over me
I believe, oh, I believe

Now when you die, your life goes on
It doesn't end here when you're gone
Every soul is filled with light, it never ends if I'm right
Our love can even reach across eternity
I believe, oh, I believe

Forever, you're a part of me
Forever, in the heart of me
I will hold you even longer if I can

Oh, the people who don't see the most
See that I believe in ghosts
And if that makes me crazy, then I am
'Cause I believe, oh I believe

There are more than angels watching over me
I believe, oh I believe

Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin
I feel you come back again
And I believe

Its hard to believe I took this picture just two short days before you died.  You were so happy that night.  Playing, kicking and talking.  You were so young, had your whole life ahead of you.  You were just a baby. 

Ten years Jace...and I still miss you every single day. 
Mommy