I went shopping Monday in hopes of finding a dress for a very special wedding that is taking place in just a short two weeks--actually its less than two weeks now. I had no luck. I am a little bit panicked....kinda...sorta...maybe. I mean, worst case scenario is having to wear something out of my closet, which would be boring...and not new....and not especially picked for this very special day.
You see, my Daddy is getting married again. He will be saying "I do" to someone other than my Mom...and I'm okay with that. I very okay with that. He has found happiness again after losing Mom to that ugly beast cancer. There's a skip in his step, a sparkle in his eye and he's dancing again.
I always hated the thought of him being home alone, especially at night. To me, that is when grief hits you the hardest, when the loneliness really sets in and tries to take control of your life. I understood that loneliness so much better when Jeff left. Sure I had my kids, but at night after they had gone to sleep...it was an awful time for me.
So I'm happy for my Daddy and very excited for him. Its a weird happy, but a good weird happy...if that even makes sense to anyone.
And so, this is why I want a new special dress...that I have not found yet. And this is why I'm knda, sorta, maybe just a little bit panicked.
But I've got another day to shop...and I'm determined to find that special dress for my Daddy's very special day.
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