ugh

You are a tough cookie.

You need to get out more.

Quit sitting at home.

You only live once.

These are statements that recently have been said to me.  The last few days have been hard for me.  Nothing has changed, nothing has happened....I'm just down.  Actually that's a lie...I'm not down...I'm truly a mess.  I have spent most of this weekend in tears when I'm alone.  I guess it comes and goes but I wish with all my heart that it would go away....and stay gone. 

I'm missing my mom something fierce so maybe that's it?  I could really use one of her hugs right now and for her to tell me to quit being funny.  Everything always seemed better after a hug from mom.

This entire weekend I have constantly asked myself...what happened to you?  What happened to you!?!  Who is this pitiful person?  Why have you let her creep into your life?  Send her the hell away....and find Missy again. 

I'm trying but I need to try harder.