Firm Grip

Jeff and I have separated and he has asked me for a divorce.  There...I said it.  Some of you had figured it out, some of you, when told, said you were going in a completely different direction and some didn't even know this...and for that, I apologize.   

I started this blog as an online journal for myself, a way to be able to express myself without getting the hand cramps of trying to write everything down in the many journals I've tried to keep before, a place to document pictures of my family, a place to document the happenings of my life, good and bad.  Its great therapy for me, always has been.  And if somewhere along the line, I picked up a few readers that were interested in what lil ole me was thinking and had to say, then great.  I am sorry that my recent posts have not been happy, full of sunshine, all is merry in my world posts.  I'm having a difficult time and yes, some days are harder than others but regardless of what anyone says, I am dealing with it.  I should be able to come here and put my thoughts down and not have them twisted into something more or something that isn't true.  Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion but when it directly affects me, then I get upset.  Yes, my husband has asked me for a divorce...what you don't know and understand is that up until that time, I thought I had a great life.  I thought he was deliriously happy as I was because he never said otherwise until December 13th.  So yes, I was blindsided.  Yes, I've been struggling.  Yes, I'm having to make decisions I've never had to make before.  Yes, I've been in pain.  18 years is a long time folks and I can't just let go of it right away--it means a great deal to me so yes, I think I'm entitled be upset and to hesitate.  Until you have walked in my shoes and you've had to go through what I am going through right now, I don't think you have a qualified opinion on the subject and you damn sure have no right to give advice on what you think I'm going to do based on what I put here.  My heart truly hurts by the ugly things people are saying about me.  I have a grip people...I have a firm grip.  Divorce brings out the nastiest people.  Jeff and I are not those kind of people.  We never have been....and we're not about to start now just because we aren't going to be married anymore.  We have two precious kids to continue to raise together and we are going to do it being friends and parents together.  For all the naysayers out there that think it can't be done, stay tuned...we will prove you wrong.